Texting becomes easier once in an established relationship

Texting during the early days of dating can be nerve-wrecking.

Finding the right tone and length of determining when to send a text can put any new relationship to the test — but once you’re in an established relationship, texting can help the romance flow.

Heather Prost, a general arts student at Langara College, displays an incoming text message from her boyfriend.

Photo: Jocelyn Aspa — Heather Prost, a general arts student at Langara College, displays an incoming text message from her boyfriend.

Langara general arts student, Heather Prost and her boyfriend, were able to jump the hurdle of texting tension to SMS serenity.

Misinterpreting text messages

Prost, who  lives and goes to school with her boyfriend, Duncan Parizeau, said she doesn’t worry about tone or how long they go in between communication, but that they do text throughout the day.

“Now that we’ve been dating for awhile and live together, I don’t really mistake anything that he says,” said Prost.

Dating and relationship expert Deanna Cobden agreed.  “Texting if you’re in a relationship can be really good, but if you’re not in a relationship, it can be stressful.  It creates a lot of anxiety, drama and reading int things, like why they’re not replying.”

Prost said before becoming serious, it was easier to worry about response time or to misinterpret messages.

You can’t really hear the tone of a person’s voice through their words,” she said.

Keeping in touch throughout the day

Frequently texting with her boyfriend is convenient, according to Prost, because it allows them to figure out who needs to start dinner or if they have plans, but things like good or band news shouldn’t be texted.

“If something big happened, I would want to tell him in person,” said Prost. “Day-to-day things like getting an A on an exam or a comment somebody made in class, I think that’s acceptable to say via text.”

Positives and negatives to texting

Registered psychologist, Beverley Kort, agreed that texting helps couples to stay in touch throughout the day, but that there are downsides to texting.

“It increases the need to report and self-reflect,” said Kort. “As if when you are not in constant touch, you are out of touch rather than living life.”

There is a plus side to texting, though. Using texts to make arrangements and send short affectionate messages are “positive things that will enhance your relationship,” Kort said.


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